Two round this week: “Songs That Inspire You” and then the “Leiber & Stoller Songbook” round. Also, guest-mentored by Lady Gaga. This show is nothing if not random.
James Durbin: Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’”
For inspiration, James sings the GLEErific “Don’t Stop Believin’”. As if he needed to sway Randy any further, he's also wearing a Journey t-shirt. The performance is actually by-the-numbers and even flat in spots. The Judges love it anyway.
Haley Reinhart: Michael Jackson’s “Earth Song”
Haley breathily sings "Earth Song," but I feel the airy tune could be a bad song choice. Despite the cloud-walking back-up singers from The Matrix, it's rather "meh", until Haley brings out her trademark grrrowl. The Judges hate on it, because they don't want Haley in the finals. Randy accuses her of "screaming it," and Haley rightfully defends herself. And then Stephen calls Randy on his douchebaggery, and says, "don't listen to him." We stop listening to him four seasons ago, Tyler.
Scotty McCreery: Alan Jackson’s “Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)”
Ryan interviews "Scotty the Body." Note to Ryan: You are the only one who calls him that. Scotty rocks the "serious stool" for “Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)”, returning to his K-Tel Country roots. And in case he's in any jeopardy, Scotty plays the Jesus-America card. The Judges thought it was "beautiful" and that Scotty is "ready for superstardom." I am ready for my barf bag.
Lauren Alaina: Martina McBride’s “Anyway”
Lauren's “Anyway” is like a red velvet cupcake, It's pretty and smooth, but lacking in substance. Great vocals though, as The Judges agree.
I love when Ryan asks Randy "who won round one?" and he answers, "I think it's a tie between Scotty, James and Lauren," leaving Haley sitting there like the nerd girl from and 80s movie that no one asked to prom. With that, Haley laughs a small laugh, that translates into, "Randy Jackson is a Giant Penis." I laugh with you, Haley.
Lady Gaga enters, speaking seriously about the "kids". And I can't take her seriously while she's dressed by like Cruella de Vil's crackhead sister.
Haley Reinhart: Shirley Bassey’s “I (Who Have Nothing)”
Lady Gaga wants Haley to add some boiled rabbit to her performance stew – a little dramatic craziness. Haley definitely brings some passion and energy to this one. The Judges like this a lot more, and actually give Haley some props.
Scotty McCreery: The Coasters’ “Young Blood”
Lady Gaga wants Scotty to make love to the microphone. Gaga, (if I may call you "Gaga"), I think he's been going steady with that instrument all season. The performance is another Scotty novelty act. With the weird eyes, head snapping and faux-attitude. It's sort of a tossed-off performance, all in all. The Judges loved "the humor." If that what they see as humor, I'm guessing they were the ones who watched 8 excrutiating seasons of "According To Jim"?
Lauren Alaina: Elvis Presley’s “Trouble”
Lauren is afraid to sing the lyric, "because I'm evil." She's afraid America will think she's evil. In related news, Lauren is an idiot. Lauren's "Trouble" is a lively, fun performance, overall. The Judges seemed to have liked the fun side of Lauren.
James Durbin: The Clovers’ “Love Potion No. 9″
James gives the hypnotic “Love Potion No. 9″ a rather unnecessary hair-metal makeover. This is something Winger might have considered circa 1989, until clearer heads prevailed. It's indulgent, silly and screechy. Of course, The Judges love it.
So who's going home? I'd say the votes won't go gaga for Haley.